bags, church, and books oh my!

Bags:

I went to a wonderful party hosted by the wonderful Bethany P. It was for a "bag" line called 31. 31 is based on Proverbs 31, which concentrates on women and that they all deserve to have something beautiful!!!! Anyway, Jessie, Katie, and I fell in <3LOVE<3 with many of the fall items, as well as the couple of summery items we picked out. Because of this, we decided that we are hosting our OWN party, here, at my house, on the first Friday in October. I am super excited about it-- we will have fresh treats and plenty of laughs. Everybody is invited!!!


Church:

This Sunday Stu talked about communion. It was meaningful, because he really touched basis with some things that I have never connected before with the Lord's supper. It was one of those sermons that you know you will never forget, even if they didn't have a Mini Cooper on the stage at one point in time.... haha! I will always associate communion now with more of a spiritual awakening. A reminder that JESUS was the innocent lamb that was slain and put across the top of our heart's doorway, so that God's judgement may pass over our sinful nature and that we may live. *sigh* I love mini revelations that pop out like that.

Books:

I just finished reading this delightful little delicacy called "What-in-the-dickens" by Gregory McGuire. You may recognize him as the guy who wrote the "Wicked" trilogy. Anyway, this book I believe is more centered around the younger crowd, and it was so much fun to read! About the little creatures that deem themselves as skebereens, who don upon the coat of the lable "tooth fairy". They collect teeth and plant them, and they turn into wishing candles in which they replace one ordinary candle in the bunch with this magical wishing candle, in hopes that humans will continue to have imagination, hopes, and dreams. I'd recommend it to anybody who likes a good tale! I may even tell this one to AJ when he gets older!!!!!

Love It!!!!!

I have finally started putting my creative thinking into action lately... I have done some random things for some random family members such as:

A Banner for Jessie's new Etsy website:




A show flyer for my brother:




and a logo for Drew, which he ended up not using, but I still liked it anyway:




On top of all of these little creative tidbits, I have found a church to call home. With much much thanks to my brother and sister in law, we finally went to Waters Edge Church for the first time a little over 3 weeks ago. The music? Fantabulous. The atmosphere? Wontabulous. The Preaching? Godtabulous! The head pastor is great-- he has a perfect personality and definitely knows how to make Christians comfortable in their skin and how to help us grow stronger with God. The other guy who preaches, Rob, is quite wonderful as well!!! He has such a great personality and is super personable with the way that he reaches out to people. These people at this church really make me want to reach out and give God a big smooch on the cheek for a THANK YOU for having such a wonderful church for my family and myself to attend to!!!

We will be joining a small group as soon as we are able, and I might also volunteer with the children in some shape or form. It is such a relief to find someplace to get involved in again-- with tons of people mine and Drews and AJ's age group. MAN I am so happy!!!!! :):):):)

a quick cry and a quick post....

Well, since I have been off my medication my emotions have been a TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!!! I have not felt myself, been super grouchy to everybody in my path, and just been feeling downright lazy and slummish.


I need to CHEER UP!!! I need to get EXCITED about my trip tomorrow!!!! I need to figure out a way to get AJ to stop crying and to stop being in so much pain (teeth).... he has a horrible fever and his poor face is all swollen from his teeth trying to budge their way in. It makes me want to cry to see him feeling like this and to know that there is absolutely. nothing. i can do about it.


Oh, and PS. If I hear that Kelly Clarkson song "My life would suck without you" one more freakin time, I am going to throw my brand new flat keyboard into the TV so I don't have to look at or hear her anymore....



Pray for me! And our long trip tomorrow (7 hours or so)! And pray that AJ feels better! And that he won't decide to throw himself into the pool unless I am right there to catch him! And that Drew doesn't run into something or somebody run into us on the drive down there! Or that Drew will come home safely on Wed while I come home safely on Saturday! And that my father holds it together for the last sermon at YBC on Sunday (I wish I could be there....) *sigh* so many things going on....

what to pack what to pack what to pack WHAT TO PACK!?!?!

As the countdown officially begins-- we are LEAVING ON SATURDAY!!!!! Litterally my heart skipped a beat as I was typing it. That is how psyched I am about leaving Newport News (love ya, Bad News, but sometimes a girl's gotta get a break!)

So as the day comes closer, I need to start my grand list of 'what to pack, what to buy, what what WHAT?!) So, to help me with this, I am going to copy and paste a couple of things I have found online from other moms in this similar situation.
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What to Pack:
If you’ve traveled with your toddler before you know that you will be bringing more with you on vacation than you ever have in the past. With this in mind, I suggest you find out if where you are going has laundry facilities because the idea is to pack as little as possible. Also, don’t forget that you can buy most necessities there (i.e. Diapers & wipes.)

***Important NOTE: Most locations have businesses that rent equipment and toys. For big, important items (such as a crib, high chair, playpen, or stroller), you should call ahead and reserve them if possible. We rented 2 cribs (one to use as a playpen in the mornings while we showered), and a high chair. They also rent toys, VCRs (you can rent at any Blockbuster), exersaucers, etc.

• Car seat.
Please travel with your own car seat. You do NOT want to rely on a borrowed or used use, as their “history” is unknown to you. Even the slightest fender-bender can compromise the effectiveness of a car seat.

• Old favorites.
For us this meant my daughter’s favorite books, a hard wood puzzle (pieces in a bag), 2 blankets, all 4 of her miniature Teletubbie stuffed animals, and a few plastic action figures). I really think having these familiar and cherished items made the “change” in environment much easier for her. **Make sure to bring anything that is part of your “night-time routine”. For us this meant Baby Mozart video, a portable CD player, my daughter’s nighttime CD, and Po (teletubbie) slippers.

• Favorite diaper changing distraction item.
For us, this is a musical bear that she activates herself with the press of a button. Music plays and lights flash, and for some reason this object interests her change after change. I list this item separately (instead of under the “carry on” bag items) because it is THAT important to your sanity. You never know when or where you will need to change a diaper, or what your child’s mood will be. Better to bring something proven to work.

• Something New.
Consider bringing one or two things that your child has never seen before. These things will come in handy in any public place where your toddler becomes restless or cranky, including restaurants. We brought a few new board books, a plastic slinky, and the Vtech, Nursery Rhyme Land. I reviewed this toy. If you care to read it, the URL is: http://www.epinions.com/kifm review-4C07-A5EE04D-38ABD07D-prod6 .

• For Meals.
We packed disposable bibs, three real bibs, 2 baby spoons, and 2 spill proof sippy cups. The disposable bibs can be purchased in many large drug stores or from many catalogs featuring baby items. It is important to buy them before you leave so you can test them out! Many children will not leave them on. I am lucky; my daughter doesn’t mind them. If your baby will eat from a regular-sized teaspoon, you can eliminate the baby spoons.

• TWO “Travel Wipe Containers.”
Huggies makes one that you can fill up with any brand of wipes you prefer. I suggest you bring two because you will want to leave one underneath your stroller so you’ll always have some with you. And need one for your diaper bag. My philosophy is “You can NEVER have too many wipes on hand.” You never know when you will have an emergency. . .

• Small Tupperware container filled with crackers and cookies.
I like to use a small circle-shaped one. Tupperware is better than plastic bags because they protect the contents better against breakage.

• Cold pack, small collapsible cooler carrier, 2 sippy cups full of milk.
The cooler I am referring to is one of those small plastic ones that you received in the hospital after giving birth. Nowadays you can also find those collapsible lunch-box type coolers too. I placed a frozen, plastic ice pack on the bottom and packed 2 sippy cups full of milk. Naturally, you can substitute with juice or water. But since they offer those beverages on the plane and in the airports, I chose to fill mine with the organic whole milk I buy for my daughter.

• Emergency lollypop and bib.
My daughter has had the pleasure of eating a lollipop about 5 times in her life. I keep 3-4 in my diaper bag at all times in case an uncontrollable temper tantrum occurs in a very public place (where many people will be disturbed). I allow my daughter to have her temper tantrums when we are alone, but refuse to allow this behavior when it can really disturb others. She is NOT learning that she is being rewarded for her behavior because I am careful to give them to her “before” these episodes erupt. I suggest the bib because at this age, our children are not effective at “licking” and really don’t understand the whole concept behind eating a lollypop. But she does enjoy them (until her hands get too sticky). This is another time when you will be glad to have packed extra wipes. . to clean up the messy fingers and face.

• Miscellaneous, Yet Important Items.
Are these items necessary? You might not think so. But for my husband and me, it enabled us to relax a little more because we worried a little less. These items are: 6-8 socket covers, 2 small night-lights, a little screwdriver & one package of batteries. The screwdriver is for replacing batteries. If your toddler is skilled at opening doors, I would also suggest you bring a toilet lid lock.

I also brought two hats, to help shield my daughters eyes from the sun. *Try to buy hats in the correct size before you leave so you will have them immediately. A “harness” (like a leash) for those times when my daughter REALLY wanted to walk, and the surroundings were rather hectic. I also brought my daughter’s slippers because I knew from regular visits, that the tile floors in the timeshare condo we stay in when in Key West always leave feet black!

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What you DON’T NEED:
• Special towels.
Baby might prefer the softer baby towels, but we used regular towels and our daughter didn’t complain.

• Bath toys.
There are so many things that your baby can play with while in the tub. During one bath taken in the kitchen sink, my daughter reached over and grabbed a whole, unpeeled banana. She was happy dipping that in and out of the water. Be creative.

• More than one full day of diapers & wipes.
Diapers and wipes can be purchased wherever you are. Bring a few coupons in your wallet to combat the higher prices that might be charged.

Reminder NOTE: Most locations have businesses that rent equipment and toys. For big, important items (such as a crib, high chair, playpen, or stroller), you should call ahead and reserve them if possible.

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BAG O SANITY:

Digestibles: Leave the sugar at home. Granola bars, clementines, bananas, cheerios, animal crackers, juice and water are great choices. To keep the sugar factor down further, mix the water and the juice together to dilute the potency. These foods are all easy to handle and drinks can be easy too if you remember to bring your child’s sippy cup.
Toys/Entertainment: Think compact. Toys should not take up that much room in your “bag o’ sanity.” Nesting cups, legos that snap together, children’s playing cards, small dolls with layers of clothes can occupy a child’s imagination for a significant portion of your trip. Even paper and crayons can go a very long way. Packing some toys or games that the child has never seen before or hasn’t seen in a while can keep a child’s attention for even longer. Of course, if you have a portable DVD player, you can ask your child which movie s/he would like to pack, and view it when all else has failed.

Clothes: Comfort is dependant upon being warm, clean and dry. Putting your child in his “feety” pajamas (if they don’t mind their feet being covered) before the trip can ensure a comfortable trip and may even encourage sleep along the way. An extra change of clothes is invaluable because it can be used for additional layers as well as your first course of action if a spill occurs. Of course, you want these clothes to be easily accessible so that you don’t need to go into the overhead bin or the trunk of the car to retrieve them. This goes double for extra diapers. Time is of the essence when trying to keep a child from crying, screaming or yelling during a vacation trip!

Necessities: All the comfort of home. Don’t forget to pack small packets of tissues, antiseptic hand gel, hand cream, band-aids, and Tylenol (for you and for your child). In addition, if you are used to using pacifiers with your child, make sure that you bring at least 2 or 3 on your trip in case one gets lost. Beside soothing a child, a pacifier or other toys to suck on can be helpful when ears get clogged during the altitude changes. For older child, gum can work just as well. Bring Zip-lock baggies or small trash bags for dirty clothes, dirty diapers or left over food. Your child’s favorite lightweight blanket may seem like an extravagance but to a tired or sick child who regards his blanket as his buddy, it is a necessity.
Books: If your child is old enough, have him choose which book(s) he wants to bring. Books are a great way to keep a child calm and focused because it is an intimate and often “snuggly” activity. Books on tape can also work if you are juggling more than one child at a time. The great thing about books is that they can be read more than once—and you are almost guaranteed that you will know the text word for word by the end of the trip. It ain’t Shakespeare but it can be a far more productive skill to be able to quote “Elmo goes to the Circus,” at a moment’s notice, don’t you think?

Cleaning agents: Oh, the magic of wet wipes. No parent should be without them—especially on a trip when you are confined with your child for hours at a time. There are bound to be spills, dirty faces, stained clothes, and filthy surfaces to wipe down. Of course, if you have a baby, I am sure you can think of some other uses.

Genius Miscellaneous: This is really the magic of being a prepared parent. Feel like we have already covered the basics? Just wait. For parents who have a baby and need to heat up milk on a plane, just ask for a cup of hot water and place it in the thermos you remembered to bring. The bottle can easily be placed in the thermos and heat to the temperature that you desire. It is also advisable to pack bottles with disposable bags so that you do not need to worry about washing the bottle out during the trip. If your baby or toddler is in a carry car seat, you know that you must keep the handle down during travel. Pack some Velcro and hang a bunch of toys on the seat in front of the child and behind the child. You can even connect the toys from one seat to the next and make a make-shift mobile. Plastic cups can also be useful for small finger foods like cheerios so that you don’t have the urge to vacuum the floor once you have arrived at your destination.


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Remember all the stuff you carried around when your child was an infant? Double or triple that load. Now you're approaching the amount of toys, snacks, clothes, and gear you'll need to keep your toddler comfortable and entertained. Here's a checklist of things you'll need on the road, plus tips for easy, efficient packing.

Diapers
Bring extras in case of emergencies or delays
Wipes
Pad to put under your toddler during diaper changes
You can buy disposable changing pads at supermarkets or reusable ones at baby stores
Blanket(s)
Bring a few for comfort, shade, and warmth
Plastic bags
Carry a variety of sizes for storing soiled diapers, clothes, and shoes
Small bottles of disinfecting hand gel and toiletries
Tissues
Toys and books
Your child's favorites, plus several new toys for surprises along the way. Bring sturdy toys that don't have easy-to-lose parts
Your child's lovey
Clothes, socks, and shoes
One to two outfits per day is a good guideline. Denim and dark colors are good for hiding dirt and stains. Prepare for weather changes by dressing in layers.
Bathing suit
Lightweight and easy to pack, and you never know when it will come in handy
Washable bibs
Sun hat and sunscreen
Sippy cups, canteens, or bottles
Encourage your toddler to drink plenty of liquids to avoid dehydration, especially when flying
Lightweight plastic feeding set with utensils
Portable highchair to use at your destination
Snack food
Don't forget high-energy snacks for yourself, too!
Nightlight
(If your toddler uses one)
First-aid kit
Pain reliever and supplies for treating minor injuries
Laundry soap
For handwashing soiled clothes en route
Socket protectors
For childproofing rooms at your destination
Portable crib or play yard
Unless your toddler sleeps with you, or you've arranged for a crib at your destination
Car seat for travel by car or plane
Collapsible stroller
Can be gate-checked or stored in the overhead bin of an airplane
Packing Tips
Start preparing to pack a few days before you travel. Keep a running list of things to bring, or put items out on a table or dresser as you think of them.
Use a diaper bag with a waterproof lining and a shoulder strap.
Pack an extra shirt for yourself in your carry-on bag — just in case.
Prevent leaks by packing medicines and toiletries in re-sealable plastic bags.
Keep your child's outfits together in one suitcase so you can find them easily.
Take your camera — and don't forget the battery charger if it's digital, or plenty of film if not.
Bring a clip-on reading light so you can read at night without disturbing your child.

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holy moley... maybe I can convince Karen to rent a U-Haul to keep behind us......

bring on the natural remedies!!!!

So for a couple of months now I have been on anti depressants due to my anxiety problems. Because of our lack of cash, we have had to put a hold on all of my medication. Which is kind of scary considering the last time I had to stop taking birth control I found out that I was pregnant (and the great part was that I got pregnant WHILE TAKING THE PILL. in spite of what Drew may try to tell you otherwise.)


Anyway, to get my mind off of that crazy part, there are some serious consequences of just stopping anti depressants cold turkey. And birth control pills. Not only are your hormones in your body wacky from not being flushed with extra girly hormones, but my brain is pushing hormones or chemicals or what have you in a more natural fashion. It has got me all dizzy-fied, nausea-fied, cranky-fied, sickish feeling. Well, that was up until today. I woke up feeling kind of nasty because I only had 2 hours of sleep (apparently getting off that medication gives you wacky balogna dreams as well...) but as the day has progressed on, I have been feeling lighter. The bloating from my stomach has gone away. The compulsion to eat at random hours throughout the day have deminished. The constant numbness that the antis were giving me has slowly faded out and I can actually feel excitement, happiness, aggrivation, and a genuine smile come across my face.

Because of this. I will not put myself back on antidepressants, even when we can afford to. I will now dedicate myself to more natural remedies. They are more expensive, however, they will not give me the effects that the zoloft gave me, and they are in a natural fashion-- and on the bright side, they are built into a multivitamin packet that is made just for my needs!!!!!


So bring it on depression. You may get me down, but I am letting God's natural NATURE get my through it, as well as his blessings-- I am FINALLY FEELING MYSELF AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

catching up during *singing* the sound... of silence...

Due to the gracious storm that lolled itself through Hampton Roads last night, my wacky son has decided to sleep in (says this with fear edging in my voice.... have I just jinxed myself???) so I figured I'd catch up right quick on the good ol blog. I'm proud of myself for keeping up with this--- it is a pleasure to read back on things that I have written on a whim, even if nobody else really follows. I hope to keep track of this long enough to really be able to look back on it and see how I've grown and changed throughout life.


With that said, my little boy does NOT like going to the hair salon. Poor Mindy. She offered to do his hair for me (and teach Drew how to do a fade) but as soon as she turned the clippers on, holy MOLEY! He was not a happy camper. Needless to say, he left in Drew's arms, hair untouched by any source of clippers. I hope that Mindy did not take it personally. He usually loves her, but now is a little frightened by anything metal that she holds in her hands. I hope she never shows up at my house Edward Scissorhands style. AJ may make me disown her as friend/ hair dresser. Perhaps that is why he woke up last night at 9:30 screaming-- still half asleep. Maybe he was dreaming that the clippers going after him in the tunnel that never seems to end, and all you can do is run that rediculous retarded run that is slow as crap and makes your feet feel like they weigh about 20 pounds each. (Can you tell that I've dreamt about this kind of thing a lot-- minus the clippers)


Ugh. If it wasn't AJ, of course it'd be the other one.... the sound of only having one child grows more and more appealing!

when you give birth to a reincarnated sea monster....

Apparently my son was once a sea monster. And a thief. And a stunt double (which I always thought was stunt devil growing up until my not deaf husband corrected me). But those last two are besides the point.


Since we are broke, we are so trying to figure out fun free things to do because my lovely darling adores the outdoors and getting away from home (who can blame him-- I sure can't!). So, today we decided to go to Yorktown Beach because they always do Saturday Movies when it gets warm outside. This is AJ's first time really at the beach (being in a covered up stroller on the fourth of july does not count) so I was prepared for him to freak out at the vastness of water.


Oh... oh... but I was wrong. Not only did he just shovel the sand into his mouth like it was the half baked ice cream treat we had prior at Ben & Jerry's. Not only did he reach for every dog we passed and called them "lelelelon" (baby talk for Leon). But he walked to the water. No, ran to the water. It is like it was calling him. And he just didn't stop at the little wave crests, he wanted to KEEP GOING. He plopped in the water, in his cute Ecko shorts and cute green polo shirt. Did I mention how full diapers get if submerged in water? Yuck.

The second best part of our trip to the beach, other than watching my son have a blast (who may be Evil Kenivel reborn... is he even dead?), was the pack (school? herd? formation?) of dolphins that we saw swimming around. There were at least 12 of them swimming, and we stood there for a good ten minutes watching them. It was awesome-- they are so graceful and beautiful that everybody around us stopped and watched them. I think the last time I saw dolphins was when my dad and I went fishing with some people from Menchville Baptist.

*sigh* goodness I hope Drew ends up staying the week in NC with us... I am going to have my hands full with my little sea monster at the beach that week.... I wish they sold those things that Harry Potter ate in the Goblet of Fire that made him grow gills for an hour. I'd totally buy like 200 of those things (100 for AJ, 100 for Andrew, his second cousin that is only like two months older than him) and let them swim with the dolphins.

vacation is coming!!!! FFFIIINNNAAALLLYYYY!!!!

My time in the sun is about to arrive. Perhaps I will bask in my cancer free skin underneath the glowing sun (protected by SPF 55, of course!). Perhaps I will enjoy dip after dip into the pool in the back yard of the house I am staying at for ONE WHOLE GLORIOUS WEEK. Perhaps I will enjoy all the family that I have missed dearly-- and have not seen in two years!! Perhaps I will do all of the above in my MUCH DESERVED vacation.

We are going to NC for a grand family reunion with the Seeholzers & Co. Drew may not be able to stay the whole time (which is double the usual sadness-- our anniversary lies in that same week!), however, his mother has graciously demanded me to stay the entire time. I think she wants to show off that fantastic grandchild of hers. I have graciously accepted her requests. I have not been on a vacation in two years-- since the honeymoon. Since I have been staying at home, a week of needing sunny bliss has been coursing through my veins. I need some socialization. I need some rays. I need some different environments. I need some new excitement!!!


I cannot wait. Vacation, I will appreciate you as nobody has appreciated you before. That is a promise.

a dog that is scared of the tub?

so my precious dog is scared of the tub. Don't ask why, he just doesn't like it. He loves pools and garden hoses, but TUBS? nope. So today I decide to keep him inside the bathroom while I head to Laurels for a visit because he is way too big for the dog cage that we have. What do I come back to? A half eaten bar of soap and a hair covered tub. This wacko dog decides that he loves the tub after his hateful past relationship and sleeps in there for most of the morning. I think that I have found my solution to wanting to get rid of the black cage that ruins the decor of my usually spotless living room... well... minus the random toddler toys and raw hide.....

www.textsfromlastnight.com is hilarious.

This is still making me laugh like two hours after I read it.....


"(586): Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?"

I love pools!!!!

I have not had access to a pool in years. I miss the smell of chlorine. I miss the green tinge it gave my hair. I miss the dark tan I would get due to long tuesday afternoons at my granny and pop pop's house. I miss the fun we used to have with my cousins over there before they moved to connecticut. *le sigh!*

So, I am doing the poor man's version of a pool in the back yard. I purchased AJ a blow up pool and an electric air pump so that it will be easy to take down once he is done playing.

I never knew how multi-purposed pools could be.... we blew it up yesterday and kept it empty due to chilly weather. He absolutely loved it! He would run around and hit the sides like he was a pinball and bounce all around! I must do this more! Whenever I start making any kind of money I want to purchase balls to turn it into a ballpit on rainy days. What do you think?! Are there any more fun things you can think of to do with an inflatable pool???

China + Suppressed Society = Sex Theme Park!!!!!

Now, being a follower of wacky news, I came about this story about China opening its first "sexually explicit" theme park. It is called "Love Land" (not to be confused with one of Michael Jackson's places!!) and I totally want to go. Something about sitting on a Penis Bench and playing games that end with mannequins in humerous and numerous sexual positions and washing your hands on top of somebody's BOOTY totally calls my name.

To check out the story, go to http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520290,00.html

Am I a pervert? No, I don't think so. Curious enough to google about Love Land while my son has glorious amounts of snot running down his nose? YES. Now that snot is on my sweat pants and I am still smiling at the thoughts of the not so hot Kama Sutra statues of overweight women and somewhat hairy men.....

Google it. You know you want to.

I feel like crappity bappity....

My jaw feels like its been wired shut and has been for about 3 days now. It is raining outside and AJ doesn't have a rain jacket. My head feels like a bottle of burbon has been IVed into my blood stream. (and I didn't drink yesterday!) My kid has this fantastic high pitched scream he does now whenever he doesn't get his way. And my house smells like a mix between dog food and Scott's farts. Delicious.

A fine way to start a weekend!!

So yesterday I was expecting an airplane to fall into my roof. It was one of those days. You know-- one of those dryer is broken, kids are screaming, head is pounding, poop out of pants (TWICE!!!), routine is messed up completely, hand got bitten kind of days. There were so many delightful things that went wrong with my day yesterday that I can't even remember.

However, in the light of it all it ended gracefully and wonderful. My brother and sister in law came over last night and we partied a poor man's party with tacos, miller lights, and some upper class woodchucks thrown in the mix. We laughed, got exasperated with the world, and just had some great conversation. I don't know about you, but in my opinion that is so much better than any money spent on an extravagant night out I ever have!!

And today, I think it is going to be a stay in your pjs until one, finish the book I'm reading, NOT WORK OUT kind of day. We were going to go over to my fantastic Granny's house today so that Drew could do some painting, however the rain that attributes to my head pounding is putting that off until further notice. Mmmmmmm..... what more relaxation can I endure today??? I may even have a bath......

The Sound of Silence... mixed with a guilty obsession...

So as I sit here, moments away from doing my grueling one hour daily workout, I am enjoying the bliss of having a clean house and a quiet house....

AJ is sleeping..... *AMEN!!!*

Anyway, I've got a confession to make. A quiet, guilty confession of what I cannot hide anymore....

I am obsessed with books. Reading them, buying them, collecting them.... something that ALWAYS makes me happy is having a GREAT BIG PILE of books that still need to be opened, to be read, to be treasured. I tell everybody if they are at a stump on what to get me for a Christmas or birthday present, to get me a gift card to Barnes & Noble.

Have I told anybody how beautiful I think that store is? The beautiful smell of untouched paper... the crisp off white pages of books just waiting to be explored by somebody as appreciative as I am.... mmm its the smell of peace. And the silence of dedicated readers.... mixed with the slight aroma of Starbucks' coffee. I sure do hope that heaven has a Barnes & Noble.

Notice all those dot dot dots? Those are the dot dot dots of a dream to splurge at that store, unbiasedly, not worrying about money, not realizing that every book you want has at least a $15 price tag on them.... its a dream. A confession. An obsession....

*BASH!* stupid! *BASH!* sinuses!!!!!!

Ok, so this weekend has been CRAZY and it is only 2:45. Last night we took AJ to the park for the FIRST TIME to let him play. Let me tell you, my kid is freakin AWESOME to play with. He did attach himself to me thinking he was a kangaroo at first because he is so shy, however, about 10 minutes of me talking with another mom while holding him, he was OFF. In that picture he was actually laughing and talking to me, teasing me, you know, being a typical Gliebe. It was a blast.

And today he is over at his Grandma Sue's house for a bit, to play catch up. Since she is now NOT doing taxes 24/7 I can start having some "ME" time on the weekends and he can have some "HER" time. The great part about all of this is after I pick him up, we will immediately go to a party where he will rock until he drops.

And so tomorrow will be Mother's Day. I hope that Drew did NOT get me anything due to our financial troubles. I however DO hope that I get to sleep in a bit and be lazy before our CRAZY day of being at church, mom & dads, and Karen's. Woohoo, WHAT FUN!!!!!!!

oh tab key, how I miss thee.....

So due to an accidental spillage of Coke Zero on my (err I mean Drew's) keyboard, we had to revert back to the old keyboard that we used to have. The one with the broken tab key. I did not realize how much I used the tab key until I tried logging into everything, started posting on random spots, etc etc. Booo... it sucks. Anybody have a apple keyboard that they do not use anymore?


on A BRIGHTER NOTE!!!!!! Jen Lancaster's "Pretty in Plaid" came out today!!!! I just *hope* that my prereleased copy will come in the mail tomorrow, because I am almost done with the book that I am reading now so I can indulge into some sarcasm, wit, and footnotes. Here is one of my favorite blurps from her website, jennsylvania.com as a "closing statement"



""""Dear Paul Rudd, I Am Only Funny Inside My Own Head

Setting: The family room, approximately one second after Fletch has come in the door from work this evening.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Guess what?" I exclaim.

Fletch is automatically wary. "Can I guess after I take my coat off?"

"Um, okay." I pause for a millisecond before pouncing on him again. "Guess what? Guess what?"

His sigh is barely perceptible, yet still surprisingly heavy. "Do you want me to guess or are you just going to tell me?"

"I'll just tell you. My friend got a freelance job doing an interview with Paul Rudd!" (Whom I love SO MUCH.)

"Nice!"

"Yeah, and instead of doing my own work, I've spent the last hour creating pretend emails that she should send to him, like 'Dear Paul Rudd, As part of my research, my editor requires us to make out.' And "Dear Paul Rudd, we're going to need an additional photo for your feature. Might you have any where you're not wearing pants? (Profile is fine.)'" And, "Dear Paul Rudd, what exactly are your thoughts about swinging? You know, hypothetically.'"

Fletch appraises me with a gimlet eye. "Since when do you write anything even vaguely suggestive?"

"Since never. But it's so damn funny."

He shakes his head. "Yeah, not so much."

Well, then, you know what Fletch really isn't going to find funny?

When I prepare an entire dinner while speaking out loud in imaginary letters to Paul Rudd in lieu of actual conversation.

"Dear Paul Rudd, Stacey and I are getting massages and having high tea tomorrow. Can I have $200?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, How do I roast a chicken?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, Remember the last time I roasted a chicken and I accidentally did it upside down and then I almost felt too sad to eat him once he was cooked because he looked too much like a hostage in that position?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, Do you know what happened to the extra bottle of olive oil?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, How come I set the alarm off every morning after Fletch goes to the gym? Am I punching the numbers in too slowly? Or too fast?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, Can you introduce me to Seth Rogan? But just as friends, okay? I find his hair unattractive."

"Dear Paul Rudd, Can you please option one of my books so you can play Fletch, so if we have to make out it won't be cheating because you'll just be getting into character?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, If I were to buy a demi-baguette and accidentally eat it all before you had any, would you also call me The Cookie Monster, only for French bread?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, I found the olive oil."

"Dear Paul Rudd, Do you also think I'm passive-aggressive for licking Fletch's wine glass on Thanksgiving because he wasn't being properly sympathetic to how much I was suffering with my cold?"

"Dear Paul Rudd, I was not aware I was 'braying like a jackass' every time I say 'Dear Paul Rudd.'"

"Dear Paul Rudd, I promise to stop speaking in imaginary letters if Fletch stops hiding downstairs."

(Although, honestly, I think it was the lure of a freshly roasted chicken that brought him back from the depths of the basement rather than any false promises on my part.)

Anyway, if you'd like to comment on this entry, it must be in the form of a letter to Paul Rudd.

(P.S. Dear Paul Rudd, I know. I know. And I'm sorry, but I don't actually have a day job that I shouldn't quit.)"""""""

iiitttsss been a minute!!!

Well, sad to say, I did have a whole blog post written down old- school style for when our computer was acting up. However, my laziness level is up to a 10 today, so therefore I will post it at a later date.

There have definitely been some fun times in the past week!!! The top moment was of course on Wed, which was the lovely miss jessie's 25th birthday!!! I've never had so much fun and so many laughs at a Plaza before. To top it off, we had the most amazing non mexican mexican waiter ever-- his name was Daniel. He did not get a good tip from me because I did NOT receive my half shot of tequila since it was my birthday the Wed. prior that! *sigh* Jess-- remind me to go to Plaza NEXT YEAR and ask to be seated in his section. I will make him pay!!!!!!


Friday we had the pleasure of being accompanied by my kick ass nephew, Peter. He makes AJ laugh like that one baby that dad has saved on his phone. If you know my dad, then you know what I am talking about-- that laugh is so contagious he lets everybody he knows listen to it! As a Thank You for us saving Karen and Adele from hearing Peter complain the whole time they were at this Cinco De Mayo on The Dos, they bought us wonderful cinnamony churros. Which Leon promptly ate about 3 our of the 5 of, and farted sweet foul farts for the rest of the night.

Anyway, on Saturday we did the ULTIMATE TASK. We cut my beautiful baby's hair!!!!!!! There is the before and after shot. Drew tended to make fun of me a lot that day because I did not keep a lock of hair from him..... I kept the whole pile off the floor!!!! You have to be a mom to understand. Or me. Whatever.



There is that beautiful pile of hair... I later wrote the date, time, and place of which the deed was done...

Saturday was going to be a pretty hectic day for us. We were going to shop for a Birthday Present for olivia's ultimate first birthday bash, go to peter's baseball game, come home, take a quick nap, then go to Olivia's party. However, we got a frantic phone call from my sister in law, Karen. She took Peter to the ER because he couldn't get out of bed-- he was feeling uber crappy and was showing FLU LIKE SYMPTOMS. Now-- unless you live on Antarctica, then you should know about the piggy flu that is going around. Soooooo naturally, we decided to keep to ourselves, indoors, and frantically go around Lysol-ing everything we could think of that Peter may, or may not have touched. Then I promptly called Tara and told her, while we had a great present bought for Olivia, we are giving her the best birthday present EVER by not contaminating her with our possible flu-carrying germs. She thanked me about a hundred times and we then parted ways off the phone with a promise of a playdate with the future Mr. and Mrs. Gliebe (We totally support prearranged marriages.)

Well, that is a short update. I would be frantic today, however, I got to have the pleasure of having a DAY TO MYSELF with no Megan, no going to Laurels, and Drew being at work for a little while!!! Will I resist the temptation of going on ebay and buying something? We.... will.... see.....

OK OK

So so much has been happening over the course of the last couple of weeks. I will post them for you in short 'summaries' so that I can hop my smelly butt into the shower in preparation of the manifacent feast that my mom will bestow upon me for my birthday....


FIRST OFF: My skin cancer is finally gone.

Some of you know I am partially joking, most of you know that I have been mildly concerned for the blue-black mole that has been growing a little on my hand. My mom begged me and begged me to get it removed, however, due to financial reasons I never did so. She finally laid down the 'I'm your mother, and I said so. Send me the bill and I'll take care of it' card, so I reluctantly went to Dr. Hannaman's office to have it looked at/ taken off. Alas, I am now without my blue mole, and it is a DARN GOOD thing that I got it taken care of. It was what is called a "cellular blue nevus" and in lame mans terms it is a mole that if not taken care of can later on down the line cause some trouble, aka melanoma skin cancer (aka, the one that you DON'T want to get). So, thanks mom, and like always, you were right.

SECOND OFF: AJ had his first birthday

What a great day that was!!! HOURS went into that cake that I made for him, which pics will be posted of later when I get the energy to post them. It was adorable, even after I dropped three of them outside while trying to balance the big cake board, walk, talk, and laugh at the same time. Oh well. AJ got uber cool gifts, mainly because he has such an uber cool family. I especially loved the bag that Jessie made for him-- even more so that she used little airplanes in it, which I have always had a special thing for. My folks got him this awesome big wheel/ stroller/ rocking gadget that he adores, his grandma got him a super cool slide, and of course his grandpa (who he always has to outnumber, haha!!) got him this FABULOUS playhouse-- and it is for boys!!! It has a basketball hoop on one side, a gas nozzle for his 'cars' on the other, cool doors and crawl through spaces, as well as a drive through looking place for all those fantasies that boys can have! Probably one of my favorite gifts would have to be that special chair that rob made for him. It is called an adirondack chair for those like me who didn't know. Google it if you want to see, because once again I don't really have the time to post a pic.

THIRDLY OFF: My 23rd birthday

At AJ's birthday, I received my awesome birthday gift from my awesome brother and sister in law. There is a funny story about that, which you can read on Jessie's blog. Basically my mom was 0-2 when it comes to birthday gifts, which I found to be quite amusing, but all's well-- she has found great replacement gifts, I am sure. Other than that, on the 22nd (also Earth Day) we went to Texas Roadhouse, which was a lot of fun, with Trevor, Laurel, and Trenton. Lets also say that poor little Trenton has a fear of men with beards, that is super cute. He tucks his chin into his neck and stares at the table until Laurel gets him and then he didn't move for the rest of the night from in between his parents. Drew got me this AWESOME AWESOME antique looking necklace (he went to Jared's!!!!!) that matches my engagement ring. It is the first thing he ever picked out for me on his own, and it means A LOT to me! Last night I got some money which I will probably splurge on etsy.com necklaces, and we went to Chili's with Drew's family. One of the many things I love is the fact that AJ loves going out to eat. He sits back in that high chair like he is king you-know-what and makes everybody laugh. He's such a hambone. Today I get to self indulge in my favorite meal at my mom's house, in honor of the beautiful Jessie's and my birthday. I hope Jessie likes what I did, even tho it does not beat what she did to AJ's birthday wrapping! We are having Baked Chicken, Mac & Cheese (homemade with cinnamon sugar on top!!!), salad, and RED FREAKIN VELVET CAKE for dessert (notice the chicken and side are capitalized, because yes, that is how important they are). My mom is the coolest <3

LAST OFF: Pregnancy Scare

On Thursday Flora, Liz, and I went out to Smokey Bones for *donuts* and dinner. They have these AMAZING donuts there that come in a doggie bag filled with cin sugar AND THEY ARE FREAKING OUT OF THIS WORLD. Don't believe me? Try them for yourself! They come with apple & chocolate dipping sauces and you have to have a big ol glass of milk in order to be able to swallow the heavenly goodness. The only bad part is apparently Flora and I had bad sour cream on our baked potatoes, so about 2 hours later both of us threw up. Hence I thought I was pregnant, because I almost did the same thing at Chilis last night, and I have been super weird feeling lately. Well, this morning and last night I took two out of my three tests and both came back NEGATIVE. Mwahaha, soldiers, my BC pills have beat you in April's battle of conception!!!

And at this moment, I shall leave you to ponder over my last three weeks of excitement. Two birthdays, cancer, and pregnancy all in one month--- no wonder I am so tired all the time (well, more tired than normal with having a one year old!)

*doye?*

That is how I think Leon, my adorable massive border collie, says whenever I tell him something. I swear, this dog is pretty bright but when it comes to listening to me you'd think I was speaking Arabic or something. However, when it comes to chasing squirrels and birds, getting along with other dogs, being gentle with the babies, or doing one of the five or so tricks that he knows how to do I speak fluent dog.

Anyway, that was a short ramble. I'm just tired of my nice clean house getting messed up again between the dog, the cat, the son, and the husband. Its too much testosterone in this house-- its driving me nuts. You would think that throwing a kids first birthday isn't a big deal, which it really isn't, until you realize how much family and important people you have in your life!! I think that the last time I counted I had 32 people showing up??? And the funny thing is, its all people that I would expect to be there even if I wasn't doing anything, just to say happy birthday kiddo to my acrobatic baby. Speaking of acrobats, he gave himself another black eye today. I would post a pic, however, it makes me want to cry whenever I see it. It is kind of funny how history repeats itsself-- when I turned one, I had a big ol fat bruise in the exact location that AJ is now sporting one. I was hoping that he'd inherit my charming personality and my artistic and academic abilities, however, so far my clumsiness, stubborness, and murky brown eyes are the only thing his genetics are sporting of mine.

*sigh* Now I'm off to swiffer my mudstained floors... again... more posts later, in a hopefully more upbeat mood.

I know, I know, I'm horrible at this!!!

For a while I was good about keeping up with my blog. Now it is more like a once a month kind of thing. I apologize. It is not the lack of not having anything to write about, however, it is the lack of time to write anything. I am attempting this weekend to make my first 'fun' dessert item-- AJ's alligator cupcake birthday cake. Dun dun dun!!! I went to a baking supply store and the woman (who I share a birthday with.... and who is expecting her first grandchild.... and who's daughter who is pregnant is due in July... who lives in Germany right now, but is hoping that they can move to Colorado before the baby is close to being due.... yeah... we talked a lot) really helped me out a lot with how to do things!!! I feel more confident now in the cake, and am hoping that it will look good and taste delicious. will post pics as soon as it is done.


Meanwhile, Easter just came and went. What a fun day. My kid was the cutest thing on the block. Thanks Jess for posting pics up, because you and mom are the only ones who took pics of him in his outfit!



God is awesome in blessing me with such a great family and such a fantastic *almost* one year old!!!!

Anyway, not only did Easter come and go, AJ's FIRST BIRTHDAY *WOWZA!!!* is this SATURDAY. Holy Moley, to think that at this time last year I was contemplating my feet's death as they kept swelling and growing.... mmm.... I do not miss being pregnant one bit....

This year AJ's birthday theme is nonexistent, other than he is getting some fun outdoors stuff as well as other random objects. Thanks to Drew's fantastic kind of rich father, he is getting the coolest play center ever that I OKed him on getting.



This thing is the coolest thing on the block. It is the closest thing to a boy's play house that we could get. Now, we have asked the other grandparents to supply a car to ride around in the back yard, as well as a slide that can fold up and either go inside or out. I have to admit I am more excited about this birthday than any other birthday EVER. Forget the fact that my birthday is next Wednesday, it is all about my kick butt kid and his day!!!! (Seriously! I don't care about turning 23!)

Anyway, other than these exciting events of April, I have been obsessively buying off of Ebay.com.... I am so horrible... I was so sick and tired of watching the same movies with the kids over and over again that I just... got a little... carried away. But Ebay is so addictive, in case anybody hasn't had a chance to experience... I will tell you the list of movies that I have gotten, all for less than 10 dollars a piece (either bought at ebay.com or moviestop, which is another guilty pleasure of mine)....

~Aladdin
~Lady & the Tramp
~Peter Pan
~Cinderella
~Sleeping Beauty
~Robin Hood
~Jungle Book
~Pinnochio
~A Bug's Life
~Antz
~Never Ending Story I and II
~Beauty & the Beast
~Shrek I and II
~101 Dalmations
~Emperors New Groove
~The Little Mermaid

About half of these I even managed to pay under $5, which is anything short than a miracle. Nonetheless, I am ending my ebay days because quite frankly, I am afraid of spending any more money on it. I would tell you that I got all of these for AJ... however by noticing the Princess movies on there, you would know that I am lying... haha.

OK, OK I give up.

So, things have been pretty crazy around here for about a month. I broke down finally and got myself a half-job. I consider it half because I stay at home all day with my son, dog, cat, and now a 6 month old named Megan. She's super cool. One of the biggest 6 month olds I have seen.

I am starting to see what it would be like to have two kids at the house, and let me tell you--- it is NOT easy! I am so relieved and tired by the time Megan gets picked up, it is all I can do to clean up, take a shower, and/or cook dinner. Notice the "or" added in there.


Nonetheless, God has really blessed me with some kind of work, on top of going to Laurel's house 2-3 days a week. I really couldn't ask for more when it comes to working part time, plus there are the bonus points of being able to stay at home with my rad kid.

Speaking of rad kid. He is turning a year old next month. I still cannot grasp the fact that exactly a year ago today, I was sitting at home, propping my swollen sausages of feet, groaning at a whopping 165-170 lbs, wishing, praying, DEMANDING to God that I go into labor. But God thought it would be funny to let me stay at home for another 3 weeks or so before AJ made his grand entrance after my OBGYN doctor granted me mercy one fateful Friday morning.

Thank heaven for epidurals. Too bad I didn't have the time to get one. Its funny how you try to be brave and not get drugs right away, but as soon as the pain gets to the point that you WANT drugs, the doctors tell you 'oh, too late!'

Grin and bare it, my @$$. Have you SEEN the size of my child's head?


But in spite of the pain I endured, and Drew watched me endure... my life cannot be any more fulfilled. I may go to sleep worn out tired by the end of the day, but man I am so happy to wake up the next morning and know my kid will be waiting for me with a smile (most of the time!) on his face.


PS-- do you know of anybody that needs painting done on or in their house? If so, you better tell them to call Drew. If you don't and I find out about it, I will hunt you down and let my dog and cat tear you apart. <3

Wait... I thought you blogged...

So it has been... well, forever since I have posted a blog. So much has been going on that I cannot even get my mind wrapped around it. I am lucky that if the end of the day my brain has enough energy to go "Thank you LORD for blessing me, FOR REAL!"

I mean... it seems as if my life is clicking into place, everything that I have ever wanted as a child I seem to now have. I have a wonderful kick butt husband. I have a house. I have a child. I have a cat, which you know, I don't really care for cats but this one definitely is special. And now, I have a dog. His name is Leon. Drew finally broke down after we fostered a runaway pitbull that we dubbed as Charlie.

After much searching and many many applications to only be rejected because we have a young child, we finally found a litter of border collie lab mixes that we applied for. We went there on Sunday to pick out our puppy after a week of phone calls, resource checks, and applications. And of course we fall in love with the gentle giant. He was the biggest one of the pack by far, but was the most chill dog EVER. If you know Drew and I, we definitely need that kind of dog.

God has really really blessed me with all of this. I have a house full of boys/men that I absolutely adore. I could not feel more protected and at home. I really need to praise Him and let him know how happy I am with how He is working in my life.

And on top of that? We got to enjoy snow day with a puppy that loves snow and a baby that could care less about it. Life is perfect.

What is God trying to tell me?!?!?!

So this is the third time that I have read Matthew 5:29-30: "29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." or Mark's version of this same version (Mark 9 42-48) this week alone.

I have a feeling God is really trying to tell me something. Perhaps he is trying to tell me to stop worrying and trying to perfect my outer image, and concentrate more on my intimate relationship with Him. He makes a point. As usual. :)

Plus, in my devotional today it talks about me constantly praying for the Lord to speak to me. In this day and age, the language of God is so misinterpreted that it is easy to get lost in translation. I always have a fear that perhaps I am not really hearing him, that I am just hearing nothing. Then as always, my devotional or my readings or even something that Drew or my father will say will be exactly the things that I was praying on. There is no denying that, especially when I get such obvious answers, without me even asking people directly.

To me, it is once again proof of how much God wants to be involved in my life. The more I try to involve him, the more he really involves himself in more obvious ways. I prayed for more ways to help people out in need, I got a phone call from somebody asking me to make a meal for somebody who just had a baby. I prayed for more open communication between myself and God, and the devotional that I haven't read in a while (I have a couple that I like) talks of me just praying and saying "Speak, Lord". I have fears of the unknown-- you know, the world ending, when I will die, will my baby live a full and happy life-- and my Bible reading that night says "Why are you still afraid?"

I cannot deny such power from God. He strikes fear in my heart as well as love, and I can only pray and try to humble myself to even remotely deserve to live in his Kingdom for eternity.

"What did you do today?"

I wrestled an estranged cat from my son's arms. I made waffles for breakfast that just got mostly smeared into the floor. I wrestled with my baby while vacumming and scrubbing out blueberry stains from those waffles. I managed to change a boy that seemed like he had 8 arms, all fighting me the whole way. I made lunch for him while having him wrapped around my legs. I finally got some peace and quiet in the car until we saw his grams. I got out that wonderful lunch, with the green beans cleverly disguised in the ham and cheese sandwich I made for him, only to have it not eaten because he saw the little bits of green. I cleaned up the toys in my mother's preschool classroom because they were covered with bread and yogurt covered hands. And kissed about 5 boo boos he received while trying to run away from me or getting into something that he shouldn't have. After seeing he won't eat veggies, even cleverly disguised, I went to the store and bought 50 dollars worth of things that he may, or may not, eat that has veggies in it. I relaxed while he napped by working out, cleaned the house, and got supper ready for our family and another one who just had a baby. In between the cooking of our meal, I delivered the second. I petted the sweetest rotwieler I've ever met, chatted and cried with a fellow mother, and attempted to go home during rush hour. I came home, finished fixing the rest of the dinner, and served it with my boy once again wrapped around my ankles. I gave AJ a bath, kissed his boo boo when he hit his head on the door while he was trying to crawl away from me, soaking wet, and managed to dress him while once again him acting like an octopus.

Finally, after some down time of him going between me and his daddy over and over again, I laid him down with his bottle and kissed him good night. I thanked God for this blessing of mine and I smiled as I whispered, "I love you" to the little boy who completely rocks everything about my world.

What did you do today?

Booo to homes with fireplaces....

As winter has *finally* set in Virginia, I am sitting here bundled up like I am about to go outside. Eating day old Arby's. And a little freaked out due to the horror movie a new friend of mine and I saw together tonight. While on one hand I was glad to get out of the house, I was not expecting to get so freaked out. We went and saw Unborn. Yes, I know, the reviews and others have said that it is just corny, tasteless, and typical, but you try seeing it in a nearly empty theater with a baby at home. And with the genetics of twins running through my blood. And being a little scaredy cat like me.

On the bright side, in case you didn't notice in the bit above, I have found a new friend that I really enjoy hanging out with!!! She started coming to my church with her husband, and her husband quickly ended up having to go to Japan for 3 months. Since then, we have been texting and really getting along. I'm stoked because this is the one thing that I've been wanting and subconciously constantly praying for. Finally God blessed me with somebody at my tiny church that I connect with!

And the other bright side-- my dad's birthday is tomorrow. What cracks me up is that all he wanted for his birthday was a Kangol hat and a Wii game-- sounds like he's turning 21 to me! I am really blessed with my great, sometimes quarky, family. And I am blessed that God is showing me how to spend my time wisely and how to strengthen myself in my faith. Hopefully He will give me more opprotunities to help people so that it will open me up even more!!!!

yeOWZA!

I, like my brother, have extreme sinuses. No, they don't like to skateboard down my nose (more like run out of my nose... ha... ha...)-- but they like to tear up the insides of my face. I feel like the stuff in my sinuses have little doc martens on and is dancing to Agnostic Front's "Crucify!!". I don't know what else to do. I have a prescription, I drain my nose out, I use saline, what else is there? I've even tried the 'tapping' method where you tap and rub on certain parts of your face that supposedly drains the mucus out of your face.


Yeah right.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I am in an in depth reading of the bestselling novel, The Shack. I wasn't sure if I could read it due to my sensitivity to tragedy and children, however, I am finding this book reassuring on so many levels!!! It is a Christian novel that expresses the intensity of the relationship between this man and God after his daughter was murdered brutally.

The part that so far has struck me home was where the man, Mac, was supposed to walk across this lake with Jesus. He didn't want to, but eventually did, and through his trust he was able to. Jesus talked about not being afraid and just trusting in him. Sounds pretty typical to add to a book, right? Well, not-so-coincidentally (I'm really starting to believe that there are no such thing as coincidences, just miracles!), my Bible Reading that night was where Jesus walked on the water after the feeding of the 5,000 in Matthew. I think that God is trying to tell me not to be so daggone afraid all the time. To trust in him more. To let life happen through Him and that He will make everything alright!!! It was reassuring and really has helped me out today.

I look out my window like a little kid at Christmas and....

I get MAD!!! WHAT snow?!?! Drew wakes me up as I'm leaving telling me to call when the snow starts sticking to the roads so he can head home from Williamsburg in that damned van of his that I'm so worried about him being in all the time. I get all psyched when I wake up a little while later and.... NOTHING. I read on my message boards that they have actually closed down Hampton and Newport News schools because of this too. I mean, I know we live in Virginia and we freak over the first snow flake that falls. I know that as soon as that beautiful white stuff hits our windshield on our car we are supposed to immediately start overusing our breaks and drive like 10-20 miles under the speed limit. I also know that it is possible to make a snowman out of 1.5 inches of snow. But come ON. There is nothing!

I've been praying that it will snow a little bit, just so that AJ can experience his first snow, but I think God is having a little too much fun being the Ultimate Weather Man. I wonder if He's laughing at Virginia right now.


Oh well, I'll leave you with this line that Jesus told us in Mark 5 (I cannot remember the verse, but it was when he healed the bleeding woman and woke up the little girl): "Do not be afraid, just BELIEVE". That has bought me a lot of reassurance through my mini episodes. I actually replayed that in my head last night over and over again as I fell asleep.


.<3.

tip-toeing around in the morning time....

Well, it is morning once again. There is a dense fog in every direction of the neighborhood. The way the lights are off and I am sitting at the desktop it seems as if I am in the making of a horror movie.

Fortunately, the worse horror I should endure today is a screaming baby. AJ's third tooth has finally come through. Hurray! That means less drooling, more happy baby. I've been waiting for this for about three weeks now. The only bad part is that I know that sometime this week or next week he should sprout one more but usually the paired tooth doesn't seem to bother him coming in as much.

Last night I have finally decided that I am really going to try to start doing things for myself. I have put myself completely last on my priority list since before AJ was born and my body has really been telling me it needs some TLC. What am I going to do? I'm not quite sure. I know that today I may drop AJ off over at my friend Laurel's day care and just go out by myself. Enjoy some me time. Hopefully the crowds everywhere won't be maddening-- I'd like to head to Target to check out their rumored fantastic clearance sale.

Anyway, I don't really have anything insightful to say this morning. Perhaps I will have more to say at night when I start my dedicated bible readings. I'm determined to make my relationship with God stronger. I have to. Otherwise I will live my whole life scared that something dire is about to happen.

Cross your fingers, wish me luck. Praying for me would be a heck of a lot better, for those of you that are prayer-doers.

Hello, my name is....

I am at the point where I know that I need to find some people to hang out with. Some women who share some similar interests that I do. I feel as if staying at home is such a blessing, but at the same time a curse. God has truly blessed me by allowing me to stay at home and raise AJ in the way that I like, even if it will probably be only for a brief time. However, I have not found the tools to keep myself occupied in a fashionable manner. There are things that I'd like to do, I've even started a list of "What to do in my life".


However, I do not know if I am just lazy, or if I have started the early stages of Agoraphobia. Its not that I'm SCARED of going out, maybe its more of not knowing what the heck to do, and being afraid of making myself look like an idiot to those in public. Its amazing that I used to work sales and used to cater. I know that when I do work, I absolutely love talking to people, getting to know them, and making a good sale that is right for them. I love making food for an event look completely exquisite, but now? I just don't know!!! It's almost like I have changed so much and become so numb to myself that I don't know myself at all anymore.

I'm on a search. A search to redefine myself as a person. To sharpen my mind, to make myself known again to the outside world. I just pray that this won't be as hard as I fear!

late night rambles.

My son is asleep. My husband has been asleep (haha). And for some reason I cannot bring myself to shut my eyes.

Tonight has been interesting. It has been a night to catch up with old friends, to rediscover long lost friends, and to realize that even tho you haven't talked in years, it is still reassuring to know that they are there. Being at home all the time brings a void into life where you feel completely cut off from the outside world other than TLC and HGTV. You can only take but so much "What Not To Wear" and "Color Splash".

My ears are still ringing from the deaf defying, heart wrenching cries from my son. He is teething 3 teeth all at once and it has really bought a pickle into our relationship. I wish one of my few friends who has a child close to my age lived closer to me so we can share sob stories about it. Alas, the internet is as close as we can get.

Upon the realization that once again motherhood is not easy and that when you stay at home it gets lonely, I have decided on my New Year's Resolution. No promise to lose weight, stop drinking, or work out 10 days a week. Nope-- my resolution is to get back in touch with those that I have been close to in the past that I still frequently think about all the time. I want to mend any bridges that I may have burned to those who I really do care about. I want to reach out to those who need it and to help whoever out that I can. Perhaps an easier way to put it is that I want to become a better person in general. And to get back in touch with the outer world.

Goodnight, sweet world.



"For the Lord is good and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through ALL generations" (psalms 100:5)

So many obituaries, so little time.

Literally. It seems as if the human life gets shorter and shorter as you see your friends, collegues, family, and other loved ones pass away. I had the unsettling news that my guitar teacher from high school passed away last week. I really want to be saddened by this news, but due to my post pardum depression, it seems as if I am lacking a lot of common emotions. I know it will come sooner or later.

The death of all of these people in the past year and a half-- my Pop Pop, my Aunt Cindy, Jacob Nesbit, V. Angelone, and a KHS Coach I briefly knew-- always remind me of my own mortality. It almost shocks me. Sometimes, I find myself in the middle of the night clutching my husband and crying, because I know that one day I will leave this beautiful earth. It honestly does freak me out.

Now I have a strong faith in God, so it shouldn't freak me out but so much. However, I feel as if EVERYBODY has their doubts-- even my father, who is one of the STRONGEST men of God I have ever met. I am constantly reminded of the most classic and well known verse of the Bible-- John 3:16(For God so loved the world that he gave his ONLY begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in him, shall not PARISH but have EVERLASTING LIFE) . It reminds me that even tho I am here on earth as a human, and my flesh will eventually fall away, but my soul, the very debts of who I am, will be in heaven. It is a belief that cannot be put into words. It is unexplainable, unthinkable, and your mind cannot wrap around it, because your mind is mortal.

Sometimes eternity seems unbelievable for me. Well, all the time. I guess maybe that is why I find heaven to be so unreal. It is so unreal that nobody can even begin to talk about it, for once again, we are but human.


I have to get my faith stronger so it doesn't falter at nights when I am panicking of the idea of my own death. I have to talk to my husband more about our beliefs, to make religion more open in our relationship. We do at times, but not nearly enough. I have so many things I personally need to fix with my lovelife with Christ, that I sometimes don't know when to begin. I suppose its part of being human and wanting everything to be perfect.